I will not tell him

I will not tell him,
for he had already left for the wilderness,
yet the softness of his lips infused me with innocence that glowed in his eyes.
I became slender that day for the first time.
We sat holding hands and I was that sixteen year old girl whom he kept close to his chest when she wanted to sleep.
I listened to the heartbeat - it spoke of being.
I loved these words.

There was no rush of torn clothes nor words cutting through my skin like a razor.
They still played in my mind though.
Unerasable memories.
I froze in fear as they creeped up my neck.

He failed to see that a sixteen year old girl tried to fill the negative spaces of his body with her presence.
He left for the wilderness that day.

I kept a leaf in my notebook.
It shall turn brown with time...
He shall see so many leaves to pluck in the forest.
They will all be greener than mine.