Do you know this feeling...

Do you know this feeling when you are too dark to be treated like a swan and not dark enough to be treated like a crow? I do.
Do you know this feeling when you want to fly high up there in the sky but a metal chain prevents you from spreading the wings? I do.
Do you know this feeling when the world around you seems so grey and full of cruelty that you wish it could  disappear, even if only for a moment? I do.
Do you know this feeling when you try to lock all your bad memories in a metal trunk and throw the key away into the ocean, but they still come back to you night after night and sometimes you wake yourself up with your own scream? I do.
Do you know this feeling when you want those thousands of rivers of words you have inside to flow next to his feet but you remain silent until the marks of his feet are long time gone? I do.
Do you know this feeling when you can not recognize your own face in the mirror because it is so far away from all those words, paintings and feelings that you carry inside? I do.
Do you know this feeling when you look at a 5 year old on the metro train and keep wondering if he also had such huge eyes when he was a child?  I do.
Do you know this feeling when you want to put your hands inside things, words, colours so deep that you could touch their invisible essence? I do.
Do you know this feeling when as a 6 year old you used to lie on your grandmother's bed and you could feel your soul drifting out of your body and floating somewhere under the ceiling? I do.
Do you know this feeling when your long cherished dream is shattered with a one simple "no"? I do.
Do you know this feeling when you bang your head against the walls of dark room every single day? I do.
Do you know this feeling when I keep searching for you and in all my helplessness shout "LIVE! LIVE! LIVE"...